BIG FAT CAKE » BLOG » Archive for May, 2009

Predicting the Weather

May 20th, 2009

During negotiations with various venues, I learned that fall season is the peak season for NYC weddings, followed by spring. I was actually surprised to hear fall was tops, but I think I was biased since spring’s my favorite season. So, anyway, both of those seasons being as popular as they are, come with a premium. Not just in terms of venue costs, but all the ancillary stuff too (harder/more expensive to hire musicians, florists, etc.).

The premium comes because I guess people want good (i.e., warmer) weather during their ceremony. Either they plan on having it all outdoors (ceremony, cocktail and reception) or parts of it outdoors. Believe me, both my fiance and I are crossing our fingers for abundant sunshine and unseasonably high temperatures during our wedding. To maximize the chances of getting that, however, people are willing to pay top dollar for dates in the month of May.

Unfortunately for brides in NYC this month, most of the days thus far have seen more than its fair share of rain. Shoot, I thought it was supposed to be APRIL showers bring May flowers. Someone must’ve forgot to tell the storm clouds to leave.

stormy-skies

It was during those many rainstorms that I kept thinking – “Damn, I’d be so pissed if I paid extra for a ‘nice’ weekend, only to have it be cold and rainy.” If it rained during a non-prime weekend, well, at least I didn’t “lose out” on a benefit that I paid for.

The question for y’all is — given the impossibility of predicting the weather, how much more (comparatively speaking) would you be willing to pay for a spring/fall month? Any tips on planning for bad weather? Time to rain on my parade! :)

The trend over the last several years has shown that couples like to personalize their weddings….ALOT! There are tons of things you can do these days: personalize favors, napkins, matchbooks, M&Ms and other candy, ribbons, cake toppers, monogrammed lighting, and finally, wedding vows. Wedding vows should be given special care and should not be taken lightly.

Vows

If you choose to write your own, make sure that your officiant will allow it and that you spend ample time preparing it. These vows represent a verbal covenant (which is more than a legal contract!) so make every word count! It’s disappointing to listen to someone unprepared for their vows and filling in uncomfortable silence with “you know…,” “um…,” and “like.” So, be sure that you know what you’re going to say. Also, it’s nice to be able to gaze into each others eyes while you’re saying your vows, but if you think you might draw a blank, there’s nothing wrong with reading your vows, too.

If you already have something in mind to say, it’s a good start but I wouldn’t suggest personalizing wedding vows just for the sake of following a trend. If you’re planning on Google-searching wedding vows, there’s not much of a point since you’re not writing your own vows anyways. There’s something special about saying vows that have history behind them and in some cases, those vows will help you verbalize love that people find difficult to put in words. If you’re concerned about what the officiant will have you say, you can coordinate ahead of time so he/she leads you through vows that you can agree with.

Whatever you choose to do, make sure there’s meaning behind it because it marks the beginning of your marriage!

If there is one thing that happens when you first get engaged and start spreading your information around, it’s this:  Wedding Spam.  Sign up at any major wedding website: get spammed; Register for wedding gifts: get spammed; Try on a wedding dress: get spammed.

When KT and I first got engaged, the first thing we did was set up a wedding Gmail account.  This was the best thing we did!  As we both have personal Gmail accounts, we were able to set up the wedding Gmail account to forward to both of our personal accounts AND automatically get labeled with a “wedding” tag.  Having a wedding only account is great – we can give out one address to vendors when we have questions, and they then email both of us the information.  The downside is that we also end up getting spammed a lot.  Thankfully though, we didn’t intend to keep using the wedding account after we’re married, so we could choose to either remove it from sending us copies of all the emails, or have Gmail just redirect everything that comes in to our Gmail archive.

Unfortunately, my home address has also been given to various vendors, so after I got engaged I daily got some kind of wedding related post card that I would usually throw away.  Thankfully, when I moved into our new house after the wedding, all that mail has pretty much stopped coming.

Here’s some instructions on how I got our Gmail redirecting into our individual accounts:
Set up Gmail account
Go to Settings | Filters
Create 2 filters – 1 that sends to you, and 1 that sends to your fiance(/e), and marks it as “read”.
Log out and log in to your personal account.
Go to Settings | Filters and create a filter that will label all mail that is sent to your wedding address with the tag you want to use.

The other cool thing about Gmail is that you can go into the settings, click “accounts,” and add your wedding account to your personal account. Whenever you compose an email, you’ll get to choose to send from either your personal account or your wedding account.

There is only one problem that I have found with the redirect method.  As the filter is only forwarding those things that were addressed to us, it does not forward anything where we are a BCC.

I hope these tricks are helpful for you! Do you have any other tips for managing wedding email and snail mail?

Bust a move!

May 15th, 2009

So I’m sitting in front of my computer, listening to my Air Supply station on Pandora and I find myself imagining my first dance when I get married.  Anybody who’s seen me dance (and I’ve tried to limit the damage) knows that I have my one signature move involving strange hand gestures and facial expressions.  Romantical, no?  In fact, I tend to resemble this guy:

Photobucket

Photobucket

I know there are others like me out there, so how do we prepare for the big dance?  All the weddings I’ve been to/in have had very traditional first dances, and all have been lovely.  Some took lessons, some are just naturally gifted with being able to pick up a rhythm and move to the beat.  But I have never seen anything like this first dance at any wedding I’ve been at.  The couple picked a great song, “Down with Love,” and lip-synced and danced (at the same time!) to the great delight of their guests.

Clearly, song choice is important.  What was your song and how did you choose it? Did you choreograph your first dance?  Did you have to explain to Grandma that you don’t really like big butts, despite what Sir MixALot says? Well, this couple might’ve had some ‘splainin to do after their first dance number.

For those like me, less rhythmically inclined, how did you deal with your first dance? Any words of wisdom to share?

Venue Search, Part 2

May 13th, 2009

Last time, we covered some loft spaces that were considered, but ultimately not booked. Today, we’ll look at a couple of places that weren’t as nice (maybe) as the others we saw, but they were actually the very first two venues we visited, so they’ll always have a place in our hearts (or at least in this blog).

Union Square Ballroom

This venue is smack dab in Union Square. It’s housed in this building that looks like a dorm or apartment building from the outside. I got to our appointment a bit early, and while I was waiting for Tina, I kept looking up and wondering, where the heck could you fit a ballroom in this floor. As I soon found out, the ballroom wasn’t actually above-ground, but rather sub-terranean.

When you walk in, you speak through this white/opaque curtain, and go down this stairwell.

usb-stairwell

As you can see, it’s pretty cool. One thing we didn’t like, though, was that we’d have to pay extra to have someone standing at the door, to make sure random people don’t come in.

This place had a very clubby feel to it. In fact, they actually have their own DJ booth and the Phazon sound system (the same as that of Twilo, best club ever). The ballroom itself is pretty big. It typically is wide open, and people have the option to change the lenses of the uplighting (I think that’s the term) to match whatever your wedding colors were. Since the DJ booth is out of the way, you don’t lose a lot of space from a dance floor.

usb-ballroom-1

usb-ballroom-2

Another cool thing about this place was its lounge. If we had booked this place, the flow would’ve worked like this — ceremony in the ballroom, with the bridal party hanging out in the lounge beforehand, then everyone moving into the lounge after the ceremony for cocktail hour, and then everyone coming back to the ballroom for the reception. Since the lounge is typically open to the public at night, we could’ve then moved everyone back for an unofficial after-party there.

usb-lounge

This place actually came with catering as well. In the end, though, the space was a bit dark for our liking. Having no windows will do that. :) Also, the club furniture seemed a bit beat up from use. It was a nice space, but wasn’t something that made us feel like we had to have it.

Manhattan Penthouse

Like the first place, this venue was in the Union Square area, though a bit removed over at 5th Avenue. I had actually attended an event here once, though most of my time was spent entertaining my jerk of a client.

Anyway, this space is in an office building, and the lobby is very corporate. Tina and I saw this space the day after visiting Union Square Ballroom (bad planning by me!), and we saw it during the day. That was too bad for the place, since that let us see that the view they promoted wasn’t all that impressive. Sure, we could see the Empire State Building by stooping a bit at the windows, but mostly we saw the roofs of other shorter buildings and water towers. Ho-hum.

Here’s some floorplan porn for you. Similar to a lot of spaces, we would’ve had the ceremony in the same space as we would’ve had the dinner. The reception room is where we would’ve had the cocktail hour.

mp-blueprint

The ballroom itself wasn’t all that great. I don’t know why, but I thought it was decent when I was here for the event.

mh-ballroom

Anyway, this place was so-so, but the definite deal killer was the guy who showed us around. He whisked us through all the rooms like he couldn’t be bothered. It was like speed-site visit. I’m sure they get a ton of business, but c’mon, at least try to pretend like you care.

That wraps up the NYC portion of Venue Search. To be sure, there were a bunch of other places that looked great, and would’ve been nice to visit. However, after six places that we thought were so-so priced, we got serious about looking at our budget, and decided that doing something in Manhattan wasn’t really going to be possible. We tried, got a few smiles, but decided to head for greener pastures.

By greener, I mean more toxic and industrial — the Garden State. Thus, on our next edition of Venue Search, we will head over to Jersey!

Over the last two weeks, I’ve shared with you how I made the invitations for our wedding.  Now, I have to confess – it took me about 2 months to come up with the design (I had way too many ideas!), but once I had nailed it down, it made all the rest of our wedding stationery a cinch to design.

See, here’s my thing: the invitation is the first thing your guests will see about your wedding, so I have this belief  that the more appealing an invitation is, the more likely a guest will say yes to coming.  Ok, so I haven’t been able to scientifically prove this, of course, but I do know that I am more likely to want to go to a wedding if I get a really nice invitation.  Am I an invitation snob?!

Anyway, to the subject of the entry: should you DIY your invitations?  Here are some questions to think about:

  • Do I like to DIY? (if you don’t, then consider buying them pre-made)
  • Do I have time? (if your wedding is in say 3 months, then consider getting some pre-made invites that you can put through your printer – Target and Michaels have some nice ones. You may need more lead time to get professional ones done)
  • Can I afford it? (DIY can be cheap, but it can also work out more expensive.  Look around to see what professionals are selling, and if you find something you like, and it’s cheaper than DIY-ing it, then it might be worth considering)

If you plan to DIY, here’s some tips to get yourself started:

  • Start looking around for ideas.  There are many great invitation designs on Flickr, in bridal mags, and on wedding related websites and blogs.  There’s also an article in the Real Simple Wedding magazine (now available at Costco for 30% off!) that is helpful at figuring out your invitation style.
  • Sketch out your ideas on paper, thinking about what you want to use for each element.
  • Visit stationery/craft stores and look online for paper samples.  Most online paper companies sell sample sheets for between 50c and $1 each, and will ship them to you within a couple of days. I’m a big fan of BlueDotPaperShop and PaperandMore.
  • Using samples, make some mockups of your invitations.
  • Once you’ve decided how you want your invites to look, figure out exactly how much paper you need.  Some sheets are available as 12×12 and 11×17 which you may be able to maximize better than a regular 8 1/2 x 11 sheet.
  • If you’re able to, factor in the additional paper and envelopes you will need – for your programs, place cards, menus, direction cards, rsvp cards, etc.  Decide what elements are necessary in your invitations (e.g., do you really need an inner envelope?). Getting these at the same time will save you money on shipping costs.
  • Remember that square invitations will cost more to send than rectangular ones.
  • Invite some likeminded crafty friends over, and have fun assembling!
  • Note: I had a friend use pre-cut paper for her invitations.  While this saves you time in the cutting phase, it’s rather difficult to print on.  Printing multiple invitations on one sheet allows you to have ink go to the very edge of the page, and ultimately saves you money (bigger sheets are cheaper than smaller sheets).

I’d love to hear your DIY invite experiences, tips, and thoughts! Do you have any other useful tips to add to my list?

Our closest friends know that Scott and I love to take vacations. On a whim, we took two days off of work to go to Virginia Beach because we were sick of the rain in the DC area. On the way back, we detoured because we saw signs for Jamestown. Growing up in Virginia, I had read about Jamestown but never visited. Scott and I were the only ones that weren’t part of a school bus of kids or retired couples group. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I was delighted to see this cute small church with scenic James River right behind it. It rests inside a fort that was built to protect the English colonists from invasion. The church was rebuilt several times because of Bacon’s Rebellion in 1676 and a couple of other burnings. The last rebuilding in 1907 was stood up as a memorial to the early colonists.

Historic Jamestown Church(Picture taken from my cell phone)

I know this idea is not for everyone, but I thought if someone wanted a historic feel, that this would be a good spot. This is the area where Pocahontas saved John Smith’s life and where some folks attribute the beginnings of American life. Logistics to think about, the church seats only 75 and it’s got an outdoor feel so it’s best to pick a date that it’s not muggy outside. If you’re interested, contact Tom Patton at 757-299-0412 or by email tpatton@apva.org. He mentioned that they have 12 weddings/year. Wikipedia has a few more pictures:

Outside of Historic Church(Picture taken from my cell phone)

Friday Wedding Wisdom

May 8th, 2009

Wedding planning can be overwhelming, and some of us brides (ok, and grooms!) want *everything*.  A wise friend once told me this:

“When you think about your wedding day, what is the *one* thing you’ve always wanted? Make sure you budget for that one thing, and make other desires either lower priority or ignored.”

Mine was a string quartet and a great photographer.  After asking around, I discovered that among my invited guests, I had 3/4 of my quartet and they had a friend who was willing to be the 4th piece.  My photographer… well that’s another story that I’ll enlighten you about later :-) .

© davesoldier.com

© davesoldier.com (no, not *my* quartet!)

Think about your wedding day.  What is the *one* thing that you really want? If you’re already married, what was the one thing you wanted, and did you make sure it happened?

With Spring well upon us, I can’t help but notice the sudden burst of color with flowers blooming everywhere.  I love love LOVE flowers and experimenting with arrangements – I like to try pairing unexpected varieties and colors to make a statement.  Like everything else about your wedding, the flowers you choose for your bouquet reflect you and your personality.

There are a few points to consider before deciding on your flowers: Will you make you decision based on the flower variety or colors? How many colors/types of flowers will be in the bouquet? Which season will you get married in?  What shape do you envision your bouquet will be? Also, remember – flowers can be one of the priciest parts of a wedding, depending on the time of year and how exotic your tastes are.

When my younger sister got married, I picked out all of the flowers and was most in love with the bouquets.  She was married in our family church, a beautiful building made of stone and with stunning stained glass windows – the venue was already fairly grand.  It was a winter wedding (December 1, 2007) and the season played a big part in her (well, my) choices.  She’s not a fussy person and I knew she didn’t want anything overly complicated, so I erred on the side of simplicity and chose for her bouquet white lilies, white freesia, white (with a greenish hue) hydrangea, cream and white roses and green hypericum berries.

My sister's wedding bouquet

My sister's wedding bouquet

Despite the relatively monochromatic color scheme, there was a lot of variation among the different shades of white, cream and green.  Also, my sister’s dress was not stark white – she walked down the aisle in an ivory gown with champagne detailing, so all of the colors worked very well together.

The bridesmaids bouquets were a great contrast to the bridal bouquet.  For those, I chose red roses, white freesia and green hypericum berries – they echoed my sister’s flowers, but didn’t overshadow them.

Bridesmiad Bouquets

Bridesmaid Bouquets

I think my favorite element of all the bouquets were the hypericum berries.  They’re incredibly versatile and come in a variety of colors, including green, red, orange and yellow – they will definitely add an unexpected element to any arrangement.  I see them as fitting better into Fall/Winter weddings, but I would like to see them incorporated into Spring/Summer events.

What flowers would you put in a bouquet? Do you have any photos to share of arrangements you love? What non-traditional element(s) would you add to your bouquet?

Venue Search, Part 1

May 6th, 2009

Today, we begin our short series of venues considered, but ultimately not chosen. We’ll start with one of my favorite settings – lofts.

We looked at several loft spaces in Manhattan. Nearly all of them made my fiance and I drool, with volume of saliva varying depending on the space itself.

Sun West Studios

This place, like most of others on this list, is usually used for photo shoots during the week, and events on the weekends. It’s on the far west side of Manhattan, and looks west towards New Jersey. If you check out the virtual tours on their site, you’ll get a better sense of the space.

sun-west

The coolest things about this space was that you’d be able to see the sunset from the reception area, a neat little terrace that looks out to the NYC skyline, and these giant metal gates that can be brought down to separate the different rooms. It had a pseudo-industrial feel to it (especially in the building’s lobby area, which is g-h-e-t-t-o), but both of us were okay with that rawness, though me more so than the little lady.

Gary’s Loft

I had heard about this place from a blog. Again, this space is usually used for photo shoots. When we went to visit, there were a few location scouts there scoping out the place.

This space actually has two floors – the 11th and 12th floors (penthouse). They’re connected by a stairwell, but the layouts of each floor are the same. We actually thought the space was really cool. They had a kitchen, bathtub and shower all incorporated into the physical space. Also, the roof was really rough looking, which I loved. :) Plus, it had these skylights that had a full-on view of the Empire State Building.

garys-loft-1

garys-loft-2

Still, as much as we liked it, the layout just didn’t work for the number of guests/style we were thinking of doing. The weddings they’ve done in the past usually had long rectangular tables. Since we want to do round tables, it would’ve meant that half the party would’ve been invisible to the other half (wrap-around corner, you know).

The Westside Loft

This space was near the other lofts. Unlike the others, it didn’t look like it was used much for photo shoots – mostly events. The space was very open, which was a plus. But, it was on the 4th or 6th floor of the building, which meant there really wasn’t much of a view (unless you count the under-construction building across the street).

westside-loft

Of all the loft spaces we looked at, this produced the least enthusiasm, as evident from my dearth of words. :)

Studio 450

In contrast, this space, which is also owned by the same people as Westside Loft, was probably our favorite. It’s actually in the same building as Sun West, but it had the top floors.

I’ll have to admit, I was, um, VERY excited the moment I walked in. You see, this space actually had two floors. The first floor had windows on three sides, looking west, south and east. The other thing that jumped out at us was the space was white. Really, really white. The floor, walls, window trim, ceiling, furniture, etc., were all white. We got there a little before sunset, so the space was bathed in light, and we loved it.

The amount of space was huge. On that floor, there was more than ample room for a ceremony and to have the reception. For the cocktail hour, there was actually another space — upstairs on the roof lounge. The roof lounge had windows on all four sides, and had a wrap-around deck as well. So, if you could imagine it – you could see the sunset, and then look up into the lights of the NYC skyline at night, relax in the lounge, or out on the deck.

(I know I’m sounding like an infomercial, but I really liked the space. :) )

studio-450

studio-450-2

In the end, though, we didn’t choose this place for a number of reasons. First and foremost was cost. Also, since everything was white, there was the danger of my fiance blending in too much. (It would’ve been like watching a floating face. Scary!) That meant we’d need to spend a lot to create a decor (though I’ve heard the argument to just keep the space raw). Nevertheless, if I ever find the excuse and money to one day do another event, I will want to do it here.

On the next edition of Venue Search, we’ll talk about spaces near Union Square.