Married Couples Tell All

Blog Post
Today on NBC4’s Today Show, Ann Curry covered a short piece on “Married Couple’s Tell All…” (link) where three married couples were asked to give their perspectives on questions couples face over the course of their marriage.
1. Banking: “Same or Separate Bank Accounts?”
What the psychologist “experts” say:
- Couples should have a joint account for household expenses
- Have separate accounts for “play money”
- Should already be underlying trust in the relationship
- If you have to worry about people spending their slush money, then there are bigger problems
- Keep separate financial identities
What the Big Fat Cake family has to say:
Christine/Scott
- Shared bank accounts
- Financial transparency
- Makes managing finances easier
- Large purchases are discussed first
2. Bathroom and Grooming: “Blushing in the Bathroom?”
What the psychologist “experts” say:
- Boundaries, expectations and privacy
- based on culture and personal history
- a negotiation
- negotiate the line and respect it
- different for everyone
- rules will come out during the course of marriage
- no need to layout all the rules before hand
- start with being polite and work your way
What the Big Fat Cake family has to say:
Christine/Scott
- Closed door
- Respect each other’s privacy in the bathroom, most of the time
3. Space: “Need Space?”
What the psychologist “experts” say:
- healthy to have time alone
- depends on the couple
- girls night out/guys night out
- creates conversation
- shouldn’t always be your idea, encourage each other to spend time on their own or with friends
What the Big Fat Cake family has to say:
Christine/Scott
- Spend a lot of time together
- Encourage each other to spend time with girlfriends or guy friends
- Important to have space to ourselves, but doesn’t happen often
What was their secret:
I always think about what he needs, I always think about what she needs

Last week on NBC4’s Today Show, Ann Curry covered a short piece on “Married Couples Tell All…” (if that link doesn’t work, check hulu) where three married couples were asked to give their perspectives on questions many married couples face over the course of their marriage. These questions are commonly asked but not everyone has the same answers. We also shared how the “experts” answered as well as our answers.

1. Banking: “Same or Separate Bank Accounts?”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tracy_olson/61056391/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tracy_olson/61056391/

What the Today Show psychologist “experts” say:

  • Couples should have a joint account for household expenses
  • Have separate accounts for “play money”
  • Should already be underlying trust in the relationship
  • If you have to worry about people spending their slush money, then there are bigger problems
  • Keep separate financial identities

What Christine/Scott has to say:

  • We chose to have shared bank accounts, have financial transparency
  • Having shared bank accounts also makes managing finances easier
  • Large purchases are discussed first, we set limits

2. Bathroom and Grooming: “Blushing in the Bathroom?”

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/files/images/0903-couple-bathroom-300.jpg

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/files/images/0903-couple-bathroom-300.jpg

What the Today Show psychologist “experts” say:

  • Negotiate boundaries, expectations and privacy
  • Negotiate the lines and respect it
  • Every couple is different
  • No need to define rules from the very beginning, they will develop during the course of marriage
  • Some suggest start with being polite and work your way

What Christine/Scott has to say:

  • We prefer closed doors except for hygiene at the sink
  • We respect each other’s privacy in the bathroom, most of the time

3. Space: “Need Space?”

http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/men-watching-tv-football-sandwiches.jpg

http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/men-watching-tv-football-sandwiches.jpg

What the Today Show psychologist “experts” say:

  • It is healthy to have time alone, but depends on the couple
  • Girls night out/guys night out should be encouraged
  • Having time along or with the girls or guys helps to create conversation between the couple
  • Shouldn’t always be your idea, encourage each other to spend time on their own or with friends

What Christine/Scott has to say:

  • We spend a lot of time together, by choice, with the occasional girls night out or guys night out
  • We encourage each other to spend time with the girlfriends or the guy friends
  • Important to have space to ourselves, but most of the time we are spending time together

It’s amazing how much you learn about your significant other after marriage and where you draw boundaries. How would you answer the questions above?

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One Response to Married Couples Tell All

  1. Robert says:

    awww cute guys. you need to create a funds for rob so he may play with scott. haha jk. its great that you guys have an an understanding on everything :)

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