A gift is “something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.” (Source: Dictionary.com)

Source: Manolo Brides

Like a kid at Christmas, I like to expect nice gifts at a wedding, but have the expectations for wedding gifts gone out of control? Maybe guests have taken etiquette (bringing a gift to cover the cost of your attendance) too strictly, or maybe wedding couples are selfishly expecting great gifts from every guest? The bottom line is, the wedding is a celebration of a marriage between two people who love each other very much and the event should be about their new marriage, not what gifts they get. Did guests and wedding couples lose sight of what’s really important?

I believe you are commenting about the post earlier this week when I shared some ideas about what I have done or thought of doing when traveling to attend a wedding. The reader did not want to show up as the close college roommate who didn’t give a wedding gift, so hopefully those ideas will work for her. But you should not feel that any of those gift ideas are required. However, not knowing the wedding couple, who knows how they would react? I would like to think that the wedding couple would be understanding if someone traveled from the other side of the world to attend the wedding and did not give a gift. Attending the wedding should be gift enough. But it’s always safer to bring something in hand and even better when the couple doesn’t know how much you spent on it. :O)

Gift-giving is an expectation that is formed by customs from culture, religion, and family. Everyone does not have the same view so it’s best not to dwell on it. As a gift-giver, I’m not going to get wrapped up in the amount, but focus more on what I think the couple will enjoy. Etiquette is just a guideline and not a hard fast rule. For those of you who are the wedding couple, you won’t get disappointed if you don’t expect something in return, even though etiquette says you should. In the end, the importance should be on your nuptials, not monetary objects.

That’s a very good question that I’ve heard several times. It doesn’t seem fair to the guest if they are expected to spend so much money just to attend the wedding. I once was invited to a wedding in Iowa that would have costed us $700/pp for just the transportation. After a slight heart attack, I told the couple that we wouldn’t be able to go and bought something off their registry that was several hundred dollars. We figured it was way cheaper than attending the wedding and the couple got an awesome gift. If you’re a really good friend, you probably wanna go in person and witness your friend’s nuptials. So what’s the etiquette?

Source: Inhabitat.com

Well, there has to be etiquette for this but I would ignore it. :O)  You should spend what your comfortable with and it will depend how close the friend is. The closer the friend is, the more you spend but if you’re broke, then you’ve got to think of something. Here are some options:

• Buy a gift certificate that will cost you less than its face value. Here are some deals that I’ve recently seen:
  • restaurant.com allows you to purchase a $100 gift certificate for $40. Look at their site for a price that you’re comfortable with. This is a good idea for a couple moving to a new area because they can try out a new restaurant for $100 less than what they would normally pay.
  • I bought a $100 bedandbreakfast.com gift card for $80 while shopping at Costco. The couple can use the gift card to put $100 towards any deal on the site. It’s also a nice suggestion to contribute towards a nice weekend getaway in the future.
• Offer your functional skills towards the wedding event. Here are some ways to volunteer:
  • Create a slide show with photos from the couple and from friends
  • Help setup before or clean-up after the event
  • Transport people from/to airport with your rental car

• Find other cash-strapped friends and chip in for a bigger gift off the couple’s registry
• Buy a gift that can be used during the wedding event
  • Toasting flutes (you can find a pair for good price especially with a Bed Bath and Beyond 20% coupon)
  • Cake knife and server set (Macy’s is also notorious for always having 20% off coupons. This Ralph Lauren cake cutting set and toasting flutes are on sale right now for $49/each set)

Do you have any awesome budget gift-giving ideas?