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How many bridesmaids?

October 30th, 2009

Question?

Reader Question:

How do I figure out how many people should stand with me? I could go with 2 bridesmaids, but I could also go with 10.

Bridesmaids help the bride but mine laughed at me. :O)

My sister (MOH) tries to tame my veil for the pictures at FDR Memorial. Source: Jay Wilson Photography

I don’t know where this etiquette came from, but the bridesmaids ratio is suggested to be 1 bridesmaid for every 50 guests you have. I’m not a stickler for etiquette but it gives you a guideline. Because if you have a wedding of 50 guests, you don’t want to go with 10 bridesmaids. You might as well invite everyone there up with you!

My wedding was 230 guests, but I had only 2 bridesmaids because I kept to close family members: my sister and my cousin. I couldn’t decide among friends and I was too afraid to offend people because if I asked one person, then I felt obligated to ask 3-4 other people who were in the same group of friends. So I made it less complicated and in the end, it worked out because with our short timeline to plan the wedding, it was less to coordinate.

by Christine | posted in Etiquette, Questions from Audience | 1 Comment »

Booking a DJ or a Band?

October 29th, 2009

Source: http://www.bostoneventworks.com/img/1.jpg

During the wedding planning process one decision that I stressed over was deciding on a band or a DJ. Both my fiancé’ had decided to go more casual and have a party like atmosphere then a more formal cocktail type event. Now that being said there were a lot of considerations to make before deciding on either some which where space, atmosphere, and your budget. Here are a few things to consider when making your decision.

Space – I think in many of my posts I have stressed the importance of the right venue for the right amount guests. If you have already picked your venue then you might be limited by the contract to noise restrictions or available power supply so make sure to check into these before signing your DJ or band contract. Make sure to discuss optimal location to set up the band with the venue point of contact. Depending on the size of the band consider all the equipment and space that will consumed by having them . It’s best to discuss with the band how much space they will need and determine whether this can be done without making any sacrifices in space for other items like the buffet set up or a dance floor. A DJ generally takes up very little space and can accommodate most venues. Although if your ceremony and reception location are the same discuss with your DJ space that will be needed at both locations. When deciding on having a band you should also consider what kind of music will be played during the ceremony.

Atmosphere – This was the most important aspect of my decision making. My fiancé and I had decided to have our party like feel that would get all the guests out of their seats and dancing. We had been to a wedding where the couple had a jazz band which was perfect for the venue and gave it a very 1950’s type feel to it. We also went to a wedding where the couple had an 80’s cover band playing which had the guests on the dance floor till the end of the wedding. Although both of these were wonderful weddings my fiancé and I have very different tastes in music and coming to a decision was ultimately a compromise. I had checked out a few bands at some bridal shows and also called around for references and decided that I although I loved the party like feel of a band I wanted to variety a good DJ could offer.

Budget – Did I say atmosphere was the biggest consideration=) Well it was it was in terms of wants but also a major consideration was the budget. For my friend who had the 80’s band she prioritized the band and made other sacrifices with the flowers and the food that allowed her to stay with in budget. Having a DJ at our wedding not only allowed us to have variety but also cost about $5,000 less then hiring a band. In the DC area most of the bands I really enjoyed were approximately $5,000 – $8000 dollars for a wedding while the majority of DJ’s ranged from $800 – $2000.

In the end the DJ ended up being the right choice for us. It ensured space, atmosphere, variety and quality.

What are your biggest factors when choosing your reception music? Which did you decide on?

by Joleen | posted in Budget, General Planning, Reception | No Comments »

Your Jim and Pam Moment

October 28th, 2009

After watching The Office’s favorite couple Jim and Pam get married on TV recently, it got me thinking about the “perfect” wedding and what that really means. (If you missed The Office wedding, check it out at hulu.com). Although the episode is awkward and absolutely hilarious at times, I think their wedding sends out a great message. Right before they’re about to walk down the aisle, Pam calls Jim on his cell phone and asks him to come and meet her. Pam starts breaking down and crying about how everything is going wrong with the wedding, how it isn’t her perfect day, and most importantly that she tore her wedding veil. Trying to comfort her, Jim impulsively grabs a pair of scissors and cuts off half of his tie. At that moment, they both realize what is truly important about their wedding and the fact that they are marrying each other makes it the “perfect” day.

Source: www.halpertbeesly.com

This past summer I was hanging out with one of my soon to be married friends the weekend before her wedding, and she was acting so calm and collected. How was she not worrying about her seating arrangements and all those last minute changes? And shouldn’t she have programs to put together? I was surprised how relaxed she was, and had to ask her how she was holding it together so well. She said to me that everything that could get done was done, and the rest would all come together. I was in awe her by relaxed attitude and now realize that she had had her Jim and Pam moment.

Source: www.halpertbeesly.com

The more I talk to my recently married friends about their weddings the more I hear about how much fun the brides had with the groom and their friends and family, and the less I hear about the smaller details. Although all the small details help set the scene for your “perfect” day, maintaining perspective on what matters most to you is really important. It is so easy to get overwhelmed with trying to create and plan the wedding of your dreams, but keep focused on the big picture and everything else will fall into place.

If you find The Office as funny as I do, check out Jim and Pam’s wedding site at www.halpertbeesly.com!

by Caitlin | posted in Ceremony, General Planning | 1 Comment »

Bridesmaids Gifts

October 27th, 2009

Trying to figure out what to give your bridesmaids? There’s no correct way and specific gift but just like any gift, hopefully you can find something that they’ll like. Being part of the wedding party requires alot of money on their part so if you can do something to relieve that financial burden, I’m sure it would be appreciated. You can give a pair of earrings, necklace, or bracelet that they can wear to the wedding but tasteful enough that they would choose to wear after the wedding is over. Some brides will consider paying for hair & makeup or the bridesmaid’s dress as the gift. For myself, I had only two bridesmaids so I felt I could spend a little more than expected. Because one bridesmaid was still in college, I paid for her dress to relieve financial burden. The other bridesmaid was my lawyer-sister who I thought would appreciate an iPod Shuffle especially since she didn’t have one yet. If you’re looking to spend a little more, Apple products are a nice gift especially since they get outdated every few years. You can get one for $59 for 2 GB or $79 for 4 GB, plus they offer free engraving!

Bridesmaids gifts don't have to be traditional!

Other gifts that I have seen include purses to match the dress, and bridesmaids mementos from Things Remembered. The gifts can be any amount, both inexpensive or expensive, as long as they express your thanks for helping and being part of the wedding party.

What did you give your bridesmaids? Did they like it?

by Christine | posted in Etiquette | No Comments »

DIY Save the Dates (the cheap way)

October 26th, 2009

You picked your wedding date – yay! Now you need to tell people – but your stationery isn’t ready yet… what to do? Here’s where Save the Date cards come in.

Traditionally, these are printed and sent out via snail mail, but since all my guests had email addresses (yep, even my grandparents!) I decided to send them via E-Mail instead. Since a number of my invited guests were in Australia, I made sure I got them out so that guests had about 9 months before the wedding date to book flights.

Here’s what I used as our save the date e-card:

Our Save the Date E-Card

I created this card entirely in Photoshop (if you don’t have Photoshop, you could download Gimp – a free image editing program). When I designed these cards, I already knew that I wanted green in my wedding – but I hadn’t settled on using brown at that point (I was actually planning on using green and white for my wedding, but white didn’t look good on the card, so I used brown instead – which ended up becoming the accent color in my wedding!).

I made the background in one “layer” by making a bunch of different sized and colored circles. I then selected a photo of us, turned it into black and white, and gave it a brown border (stroke).

The fonts are all a serif font (Bell MT) in lowercase. The heading uses the green from the large green circle on the bottom left, and I also used this green for our names and wedding date on the bottom right. If you look closely, you’ll noticed that the first line of our names on top of the photo have been outlined in brown – it just seemed to fade away into the picture too much without the stroke around it.

To send this to our guests, I saved the image optimized for web (about 96kb) and pasted it into an email (there are various ways to do this, depending on your email client). Into the body of the email, I also typed the main information (our names, wedding date, location, closest airport, and request for current mailing address) – this way anyone reading with images disabled or from their cell phone, could still get the main information.

As long as you create your card with the same dimensions as a regular photograph, you can also save your card as a high-res JPEG and have it printed at Visa Print or any photo printing place, mailing it out as a postcard for your not-so-web-savvy guests.

Will you be sending Save the Date cards to your guests? How will you send them?

by auschick | posted in Design Ideas, General Planning | No Comments »

Venue Searching Questions

October 25th, 2009

So my brother-in-law recently got engaged!! {Congrats Henry & Phoebe!!} Just starting to wedding planning, he and his fiance are venue searching right now. They asked GT and I to provide a list of questions for the initial process when they tour a venue. I thought I’d share with you all this list:

1. Contact: name and number
2. Capacity: What is the maximum capacity? Is there a required minimum of guests? Minimums vary depending on the day of the week.
3. Pricing: Is there a site fee? Are there any additional fees, i.e. parking, membership, ceremony, alcohol fee, etc? Also pricing may vary depending on the day of the week.
4. Catering: Is it in house? If not, is there a list of exclusive caterers or you may bring in anyone you want? Do they provide tables,chairs, linens, dishware, and silver? Do they provide a dance floor? Is it serviced dinner or buffet? What is the tax? What is the service charge (20-22% is an industry standard)? Will they provide special food requests i.e. one of your groomsman is a vegetarian?
5. What is the per person price? Can you do ala carte (we can go into that further if you guys don’t understand)? What does the price include, ie. champagne, cake, open bar? If they provide open bar, top shelf alcohol? Do they provide tastings?
5. Vendors: Are there specific vendors they require you to use? I.e. florists, dj, cake, other rental components.
6. Do they have a sound system or will you have to provide one? If the ceremony location and the reception location are in different places within the venue, ask if they have sound system in both locations.
7. Do they have a lighting system? (Some venues provide lighting effects to create a certain feel to the room. For us, they had spot lights aimed at all the center pieces to create a focal point for each table.)
8. Is there an event coordinator for the day of the event?
9. How many hours do you have the venue for? Is there a charge if you go over time? Venues usually squeeze in two weddings each Saturday, day for lunch and night for dinner. Day weddings are usually easier to negotiate $. Can you arrive early to get ready?
10. Is there a bridal suite? If so, is there a safe, bathroom, or steamer inside?
11. Is there parking on premises? Is it self or valet? Is there public transportation near by?
12. FINALLY, if you guys like the place…. What dates are available? Note: as you may find out, venues don’t usually like to share their whole calendar with you unless they are fully booked. They will ask for a month or months you are thinking about, so you should be prepared with something. The smart ones would prefer if you shoot out dates and they say yay or nay. It gives you less leverage for negotiating.

Are there any important questions I missed? Please feel free to share.

by Mel | posted in General Planning, Reception | 1 Comment »

Saving For Your Wedding

October 22nd, 2009

Most recently I met with the crew of BFC and got to thinking about what else I had to offer future brides. I’m not really crafty or creative but one thing I was able to do successfully for my wedding was to save! Below are a few “life” changes that I was able to make that really helped me meet my saving goals.

Source: www.1weddingsource.com

Giving Yourself Time to Save: I can’t say enough how nice it was to have a few extra months to save for the wedding. We ended up booking a date for our wedding that would give us 20 months to save. Although during the last few months we just wanted to get married already but having the extra time to save allowed us to add a few things to the wedding that we hadn’t originally planned.

Source: www.theweddingideasblog.co.uk

Setting Goals: The biggest part of paying for your own wedding is that you actually get to work towards goals with your future spouse. After our engagement we decided to sit down and put together a financial plan. We noted each other’s debt, school loans, house payments, car payments etc. and came up with a set amount to contribute each month to our “wedding fund.” Over the course of our engagement there were a few times we needed to dip into the fund to cover something but we always made sure that we put it back in the following month. I think this was a great way to practice for marriage!!!

Source: www.nationalweddingshow.co.uk/

Prioritizing: If my husband had his wish we would have had a 300 person wedding. We each prioritized our guest lists and figured out a cost per person and decided what was within our budget to have. We ended up having a goal of 150 people and had it in a venue that only held up 160 people. There is nothing worse that having a wedding with a lot of empty space!

Source: www.tent-rental-chicago.com

Be Open to Options: Even though I wanted to get married in a church, deciding to have your ceremony and reception in the same location cuts back on a lot of costs including flowers, transportation and of course any site fees. I started seeing some amazing tent wedding photos throughout my planning process and really wish I had considered it earlier on in my planning. I wanted to have a relaxed wedding but nothing too simple and had originally shied away from something like this. If I had decided to go with a tent I could have paid much less for a place to have the wedding or even had it at a family member’s home. A bride can really have the wedding of her dreams in some of the modern tents that a lot of party rental companies are able to provide.

Cutting Back: Both my fiancé and I made sacrifices for the wedding that we agreed on. One that was controversial (but necessary in our case) was moving in together. My rent payment was part of my wedding fund contribution each month. We also made a decision that we would not make any big purchases and not do unnecessary travel. We also ended up combining our cell phones to a shared plan as well as our gym memberships. Those two things alone saved us $200 a month! A few of the smaller things I did was to cook more (no more eating out!), do my own manicures and pedicures, pluck instead of wax and buy clothes on sale (small things but they helped)

Did anyone else end up paying for their own wedding? What did you cut back on to achieve your saving goals?

by Joleen | posted in Budget, General Planning | No Comments »

Surviving the Big Day

October 21st, 2009

One thing that is for certain on the day of your wedding is that you can’t plan for the unexpected. However, you can do your best to try! That’s why I think having a bride or bridesmaid ‘survival kit’ is critical for the big day. Having a nail file if someone breaks a nail, or a sewing kit if a button pops off a dress, or some bobby pins in case a piece of hair falls out of place can help make the day go a lot smoother. You can buy them pre-made or make them yourself. They make great gifts for the bridesmaids or bride. I got one of my friends a bride survival kit as an additional gift for her bridal shower. I also know a maid of honor who made a big basket with a bunch of day of essentials that the bride and bridesmaids all shared while they were getting ready together.

Source: www.msandmrs.com -The bridesmaid's survival kit

Source: www.paper-source.com -The bride's survival kit

Some of the essentials I think should be in a wedding survival kit include:

-Sewing Kit -Safety Pins -Bobby Pins

-Band-Aids -Shout Wipes or Tide Pens -Travel Deodorant

-Breath mints -Tissues -Hairspray

- Nail Files -Clear Nail Polish -Pain Reliever

Source: www.organize.com -This bridesmaid's travel survival kit would be great for destination weddings!

There are also kits for grooms too!

by Caitlin | posted in Accessories, Beauty | 5 Comments »

Favorite Registry Gifts

October 20th, 2009

One thing I did love about being engaged was putting things on our registry! I was rooming with a friend at the time, and whenever I used something of hers in the kitchen that I liked, I promptly went to my computer and added it to my registry. Now that I’ve been married almost a year (!) I thought I’d share some of the things from our registry that we use most frequently (and some we never use).

I love my Kitchen-aid! We registered for it at BedBathandBeyond, but since they don't stock the green mixers in their stores, we didn't end up receiving it. Hubby and I trekked to the outlets after our honeymoon and picked it up for about $200 at William Sonoma Outlet! I love a good deal! We also registered for the pasta attachments which I use all the time (I do love to cook, so if you're not really into cooking, those attachments probably aren't worth it for you).

Everyone needs a great set of saucepans! We registered for these at BBB and used the giftcards we received to buy it after our wedding. We took in our 20% off everything coupon that we got from BBB when we bought our house (best deal ever!) and also got a $50 BBB giftcard for spending over $300 on Calphalon. Since it was on our registry, we also got an extra frypan, wok, and knife via redemption.

Everyone has one of these little babies in Australia, so I was shocked to find how many people used stove top kettles here in the US. For making pasta, tea, or coffee, this is a definite must for me!

This blender actually isnt one of my favorite things, but my husband uses it *all* the time. (Smoothies are one of his favorite things)

This blender actually isn't one of my favorite things, but my husband uses it *all* the time. (He's a big smoothie fan)

I don't drink coffee, so since our kitchen is small, and my husband doesn't drink it at home all that much, we got a Bodum French Press. Hubby is a big fan (and so am I, since it doesn't clutter things up!)

Ok, THIS is my all-time favorite thing. Seriously, Microplane should employ me! This zester produces the best parmesan cheese, orange, lime, and lemon zest - EVER.

This is one of my most multi-purpose things: it doubles as both a really compact clothes drying rack, and also a drying rack for my fresh pasta ;-)

This is one of my most multi-purpose things: it doubles as both a really compact clothes airer, and also a drying rack for my fresh pasta

We entertain guests a lot, so this ice bucket is used quite frequently.

It's worth getting a really good quality set of flatware/cutlery. We originally registered for some cheap stuff, but ended up adding this set from Crate and Barrel instead. I love it! It looks sleek, has a great polish, and never gets bent out of shape.

We added a table runner and various placemats to our registry, rather than table cloths. This one is a bit of a pain to clean, but it looks fabulous.

So many people register for expensive dinnerware sets (and often, 1 cheap, 1 expensive), but I just didn't see the point. I just stuck with one set that I liked, and we also got a great deal on it ($12.50 for each 4pc set) from Macy's. And if a piece breaks, I won't be crying!

We registered for a set of 6 chairs and a table from Crate and Barrel, figuring that no one would purchase them, but we'd at least be able to get 10% off them after our wedding. Well we really lucked out - on our trip to the outlets after our wedding, we found the table and chairs we'd registered for all at half price since they were ex-floor models and a little scratched. SCORE!

So there you have it – my favorite registry items! But I did mention that I had things we never used too. Those items (which I still do love btw!) are our napkin rings (this is because I had planned to make cloth napkins rather than buy them, but still haven’t done it), and our juicer (which is currently a glorified tv antenna stand…).

What are your favorite registry items? If you’re already married, did you register for anything that you just never use?

by auschick | posted in Engagement, General Planning | 2 Comments »

Considering a Wedding Coordinator?

October 20th, 2009

How do you know if you need a DOC (day-of-coordinator)? Even if you planned your own wedding, you may want to consider delegating the worry and stress of the actual wedding day to a friend or professional so that you can enjoy your wedding, instead of being overwhelmed with details. Not everyone needs a coordinator but if you have over 80 guests, I would suggest finding a DOC to help coordinate the wedding activities. On your wedding day, you don’t want to worry about logistics and making sure vendors are showing up, etc. You want to be relaxed and enjoying your special day. Something always goes wrong no matter how well you planned your wedding. I’ve been helping friends coordinate their wedding and a few emergencies I’ve personally run into:

Electricity failed and no one could find the breaker box
Cake vendor did not show up
Music started an hour late because the DJ thought the hotel was providing the speakers

Do You Need a Wedding Coordinator?

Some ceremony and reception places will offer a “coordinator” but you should get details on what this service includes. Many “site coordinators” are there to answer questions about the facility, like if you need more chairs or if the thermostat needs to be changed. Hotel reception halls usually have an adequate coordinator because they provide the catering, which is a big chunk of the reception activities. If you are wondering if your coordinator will be adequate enough, ask yourself these questions:

Did the coordinator ask for a list of the vendors and their contact information?
Did the coordinator ask for a schedule/program of events?
Did the coordinator ask to meet before the wedding day to go over plans?

If the answer is “yes” to all three questions, the coordinator passes the sniff-test. If the answer is “no” to any of them, you may want to figure out what the coordinator’s role is on your wedding day.

Later on, we’ll go into what the difference is between a “wedding planner” and a DOC.

Did you regret not having a DOC for your wedding day? If you had one, would you suggest it to others?

by Christine | posted in General Planning | 2 Comments »

How many bridesmaids?

Booking a DJ or a Band?

Your Jim and Pam Moment

Bridesmaids Gifts

DIY Save the Dates (the cheap way)

Venue Searching Questions

Saving For Your Wedding

Surviving the Big Day

Favorite Registry Gifts

Considering a Wedding Coordinator?

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