Premarital Counseling – It Works!

From the movie, License to Wed. Click to view YouTube video. Photo Source: IMDB

Premarital counseling is something that I wish every officiant would make mandatory. Since Scott and I dated for more than 5 years before getting married, you would think we would have known everything about each other.  But at the premarital counseling with Pastor Anson, I learned so much! Anson walked us through Before You Say “I Do” by H. Norman Wright & Wes Roberts.

In the book, the authors asked us to fill out a survey separately. One of the questions simply asked, “Will you drive your kids to school or will they ride the bus?” My response was that they would ride the bus, however, Scott said he would drive the kids to school. It’s funny to talk about your hypothetical kids because you never know what it’s going to be like when the time comes around. I asked him, “why would you drive your kids to school when that’s what the bus is for?” He said that driving your kids to school shows that you love them. Of course my next questions was, “so do you think my parents didn’t love me?” It was an easy way to pick a fight but it was more humorous from my end of the conversation. :O)

Different experiences form our opinions so it was interesting to see the perspective he was coming from. I think the three biggest topics that engaged couples often don’t talk about openly, but comes up during premarital counseling: Finances, Children, and Faith. Talking about certain topics helps manage expectations so you don’t get surprised later.

Some resources from pastor and friend, Woojin:

• Saving Marriage Before It Starts by Les & Leslie Parrott (they also have one for second marriages)
• “Getting Ready for Your Marriage Workbook” by Frank Minirth.

If you’re already married, you could still try one of the books mentioned above, or look into Family Life who hosts a conference called a Weekend to Remember throughout the country, which I hear good things about. I haven’t been to one but plan to in the future.