Remember that your wedding day is not everything and that relationships with people continue beyond the wedding day. Just remembering that thought may determine what you do and what you say to your friends.
Okay, so that being said, before you ask someone else to be your maid of honor, you should talk to your BFF and ask her if she’s willing to be a maid of honor and explain to her the usual responsibilities. She might volunteer herself to be a bridesmaid but also, don’t be offended if she doesn’t want to participate at all. It takes a lot of commitment of someone’s time and money to be a bridesmaid. If you have other bridesmaids that are responsible enough to make up for your maid of honor’s lack of it, then you should be fine. In my opinion, “maid of honor” is just a title.
Keep in mind, not every bride has the whole sha-bang of bridal shower, bachelorette party, engagement party, etc etc. So just because you get a responsible maid of honor, does not mean you’ll “get it all.” I hope this advice helps!