Arguing does not pay

When it comes to weddings, tradition provides (or at least strongly suggests) that the bride’s family pays for the reception. But, what happens when the bride’s family does not have the requisite funds to pay for the couple’s wedding. Who pays for what? How does this work? A would-be bride can be made to wonder “is this wedding actually going to take place” when the realities of getting married begin to set in, such as the cost of the wedding.

Well here is one good solution that worked for my husband and I. We divided the costs of the wedding by who everyone was inviting. My husband and I paid for our friends and coworkers and each of our parents paid for their guests. My husband and I also paid for all our vendors (photographer, florist, DJ, etc.). In this manner, if a given party (e.g., one of the sets of parents or the couple) wanted to invite a particular guest, that party bears the cost of inviting that guest. In economic terms, each of the parties (at least partially) internalizes the cost of inviting the next (marginal) guest. I know what you’re thinking – isn’t this supposed to be a wedding blog? And, why is she talking to me about economics? Welcome to the 21st century gang, where each and every decision receives more scrutiny than it probably deserves.

So how does a would-be bride bring this up to the groom’s family, as tradition states the bride’s family pays for everything? Have you fiancé bring it up to his parents. His parents may be less likely to take exception if it comes from his mouth. Yes, this might not always work, but it may be the only viable option if you are going to be down with the aisle.