I never understood what the big deal was about handwriting the addresses on the envelopes to the guests. It seems highly inefficient and rather stupid. Therefore Mr. Mercy and I will be printing out our guests names on LABELS (please refrain from crying out in horror). *rolls eyes*. For the 275-300 invites we send and the 500 invites our parents send, it just seems like the most logical thing to do

The envelopes are a bit plain and a bit thin… but I don’t care– it’s an envelope. If people want to judge me based on the quality of the envelope… I don’t know what to say to their stupidity. To make the envelopes more personal, we’ll have a monogram stamp that will be affixed to the flap of every envelope:

Included in our invitations will be a postcard as our RSVP form (to save on money for postage). The reasoning behind this is that we LOVE playing scrabble so it just seems suitable you know?

Also we’ll include the complimentary cards regarding hotel accommodations from the Crown Plaza where we negotiated a discounted rate for our out-of-town guests. Directions will be handed out at the wedding (since no one remembers to bring them to the wedding anyway and the ceremony and the reception venues are literally down the street from one another).

Save-The-Dates– My fiance made me promise I would stop calling them “STDs”… We went to a photobooth in the mall took our pictures and they upload it onto a website for you… so we got it from there and then added all the extra detail! It goes along great with our photo theme and will be electronically sent out to all of our guests in a few weeks with our website information and the option to RSVP online

Wedding Party Requests– I sent out Smilebox requests to our hopeful wedding party (bridesmaids, make-up artist, gift table, etc.) asking them if they would serve in that capacity.  I love love LOVE smilebox, it was so easy to use and I could customize it with photos… which is a big part of our wedding.

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Programs– will be printing it out on the same cardstock. I just got one of those pre-formatted brochure forms and adapted it into our tri-fold program with the same pink swirl decal with the brown outline on the front.

Thank you cards– We’ll be doing postcards from Vistaprint.com. I got my business cards through this company and was impressed with their quality of service. So I ordered 100 free postcards through them (paid $10 for shipping) and loved the product. Then ordered the remaining 500 to send out to all of our guests and our parents’ guests. These postcards are cheaper than any set of thank you cards I could order, more personal, and the pre-design already goes along with the pink and brown theme!

As for our escort cards/ name cards– please refer to next post about our cake… aren’t you curious to see how they’re related?

Total cost for all the paper details of the wedding? $35 for 5 packs of 250 sheets of 110 lb white cardstock + $66 for white greeting card size envelopes+ $17 pack of 2,000 labels + $3 for save the date photobooth strip + $40 for monogram stamper for the envelopes + $76 for 600 thank you postcards=$237.00!!!!! (+ postage!)

Anyone else having DIY invites? Share your ideas!!

We are three days away from the BIG DAY. The great thing about being so close is that most costs are finalized, and there are no more big surprises. I know, I’m cheap, but even the most loose-spenders can appreciate that.

That said, I have a question for you ladies. My woman is having a make-up person come on-site. I’ve read in various places that if someone comes on-site, then you don’t have to tip them. The rationale is that these vendors charge an on-site fee, so that pretty much covers that.

What say you? Are we supposed to tip, even if the on-site fee the make-up artist is charging makes up nearly 25% of the day-of cost?

image from gearpatrol.com

Formal dinner

The tableware pieces that make up the setting:

1. Salad Plate
2. Charger (Service Plate)
3. Bread Plate
4. Dinner Plate

Silverware:

1. Dinner knife
2. Dinner fork
3. Teaspoon
4. Salad fork
5. Soup spoon
6. Bread knife
7. Cake fork
8. Dessert spoon

Crystal:

1. Water glass
2. Red Wine glass
3. White Wine glass
4. Cup and Saucer

image from gearpatrol.com

Informal Setting

At an informal setting, fewer utensils are used and serving dishes are placed on the table.

The tableware pieces that make up the setting:

1. Dinner Plate

Silverware:

1. Dinner knife
2. Dinner fork
3. Teaspoon
4. Salad fork
5. Soup spoon

Crystal:

1. Water glass
2. Wine glass

So, to answer our question what is a charger? It is essentially a decorative plate for a well-dressed table.  The charger plate is larger than the dinner plate and salad plate that actually hold the food. In my opinion a charger is unnecessary at most dinners but it is nice to for the eyes to have a placeholder when in between course servings.

My sister (MOH) tries to tame my veil for the pictures at FDR Memorial. Source: Jay Wilson Photography

I don’t know where this etiquette came from, but the bridesmaids ratio is suggested to be 1 bridesmaid for every 50 guests you have. I’m not a stickler for etiquette but it gives you a guideline. Because if you have a wedding of 50 guests, you don’t want to go with 10 bridesmaids. You might as well invite everyone there up with you!

My wedding was 230 guests, but I had only 2 bridesmaids because I kept to close family members: my sister and my cousin. I couldn’t decide among friends and I was too afraid to offend people because if I asked one person, then I felt obligated to ask 3-4 other people who were in the same group of friends. So I made it less complicated and in the end, it worked out because with our short timeline to plan the wedding, it was less to coordinate.

Bridesmaids gifts don't have to be traditional!

Other gifts that I have seen include purses to match the dress, and bridesmaids mementos from Things Remembered. The gifts can be any amount, both inexpensive or expensive, as long as they express your thanks for helping and being part of the wedding party.

What did you give your bridesmaids? Did they like it?

Although the wedding is over, there was still one last thing we had for our guests… thank you notes.  A personal thank you note is the only appropriate way to say “Thank You.”  The common etiquette is to send a handwritten thank you.  It is more personal and sincere than a pre-printed one, which tells the guest how much you appreciated the gift and how it will be cherished for years to come.  Also don’t forget about those who arranged showers and parties for you.  It is acceptable to thank them for the shower and their gift in the same card.  It is also recommended to send out thank you notes as you receive gifts before the wedding.  It gives you less to think about after the wedding.  It doesn’t let too much time pass between the gift and the thank you.

We decided to give our cards, which matched the rest our paper elements (invitations, programs, seating cards, etc), an extra touch by calligraphying the message and the addresses.   As for the return address, we wanted something fun.  I found a really cute site called sweet papery that makes self inking and traitional stamps with a great collection of designs.

So Bachelor Party #1 has been scheduled. I’m going to Vegas with my buddies in January, and we’re going to check out the cultural icons and natural habitats of that quiet town. I’m really excited – I will definitely bring a journal to log all of our activities.

Kidding aside, one of my buddies just asked me if it’d be okay for him to invite someone to the trip. I don’t really know the guy he wanted to invite, but my first instinct was, “Hey, it’s Vegas, who am I to say no.” However, after getting some advice from others, I decided, hell no, it’s my bachelor party, and I want to “lose myself in unspeakable acts with my closest friends” and not make new acquaintances.

What would you ladies have done? Let’s say an invitee to your bridal shower asks to bring someone, would you be okay with that? Or am I way off base?

A gift is “something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.” (Source: Dictionary.com)

Source: Manolo Brides

Like a kid at Christmas, I like to expect nice gifts at a wedding, but have the expectations for wedding gifts gone out of control? Maybe guests have taken etiquette (bringing a gift to cover the cost of your attendance) too strictly, or maybe wedding couples are selfishly expecting great gifts from every guest? The bottom line is, the wedding is a celebration of a marriage between two people who love each other very much and the event should be about their new marriage, not what gifts they get. Did guests and wedding couples lose sight of what’s really important?

I believe you are commenting about the post earlier this week when I shared some ideas about what I have done or thought of doing when traveling to attend a wedding. The reader did not want to show up as the close college roommate who didn’t give a wedding gift, so hopefully those ideas will work for her. But you should not feel that any of those gift ideas are required. However, not knowing the wedding couple, who knows how they would react? I would like to think that the wedding couple would be understanding if someone traveled from the other side of the world to attend the wedding and did not give a gift. Attending the wedding should be gift enough. But it’s always safer to bring something in hand and even better when the couple doesn’t know how much you spent on it. :O)

Gift-giving is an expectation that is formed by customs from culture, religion, and family. Everyone does not have the same view so it’s best not to dwell on it. As a gift-giver, I’m not going to get wrapped up in the amount, but focus more on what I think the couple will enjoy. Etiquette is just a guideline and not a hard fast rule. For those of you who are the wedding couple, you won’t get disappointed if you don’t expect something in return, even though etiquette says you should. In the end, the importance should be on your nuptials, not monetary objects.

That’s a very good question that I’ve heard several times. It doesn’t seem fair to the guest if they are expected to spend so much money just to attend the wedding. I once was invited to a wedding in Iowa that would have costed us $700/pp for just the transportation. After a slight heart attack, I told the couple that we wouldn’t be able to go and bought something off their registry that was several hundred dollars. We figured it was way cheaper than attending the wedding and the couple got an awesome gift. If you’re a really good friend, you probably wanna go in person and witness your friend’s nuptials. So what’s the etiquette?

Source: Inhabitat.com

Well, there has to be etiquette for this but I would ignore it. :O)  You should spend what your comfortable with and it will depend how close the friend is. The closer the friend is, the more you spend but if you’re broke, then you’ve got to think of something. Here are some options:

• Buy a gift certificate that will cost you less than its face value. Here are some deals that I’ve recently seen:
  • restaurant.com allows you to purchase a $100 gift certificate for $40. Look at their site for a price that you’re comfortable with. This is a good idea for a couple moving to a new area because they can try out a new restaurant for $100 less than what they would normally pay.
  • I bought a $100 bedandbreakfast.com gift card for $80 while shopping at Costco. The couple can use the gift card to put $100 towards any deal on the site. It’s also a nice suggestion to contribute towards a nice weekend getaway in the future.
• Offer your functional skills towards the wedding event. Here are some ways to volunteer:
  • Create a slide show with photos from the couple and from friends
  • Help setup before or clean-up after the event
  • Transport people from/to airport with your rental car

• Find other cash-strapped friends and chip in for a bigger gift off the couple’s registry
• Buy a gift that can be used during the wedding event
  • Toasting flutes (you can find a pair for good price especially with a Bed Bath and Beyond 20% coupon)
  • Cake knife and server set (Macy’s is also notorious for always having 20% off coupons. This Ralph Lauren cake cutting set and toasting flutes are on sale right now for $49/each set)

Do you have any awesome budget gift-giving ideas?

Source: Wedding Reception Centerpieces

It’s weird that the catering bill would not include the tip already.  If the caterer is paying the vendor, I would expect them to pass the tip onto your bill so I wouldn’t worry about tipping them. For wait staff, I would tip based off the food and labor and give the tip to the person in charge, and not distribute individually. I would ask Debbie if the bill already includes the tip because sometimes caterers include the tip in the price. You wouldn’t want to double tip. I hope that helps. :O)