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DIY: Lace Invitation Tutorial

February 22nd, 2010

Question?

Reader Question:
My daughter would like to incorporate black lace onto her invites, any suggestions? We can certainly visit M&J trimmings in NYC. We also have local material places near us in Nyack, NY. Do I print the verbiage onto good linen paper, ala Michaels, and then glue the black lace around the invite like a wrap?

Since my lace wedding invitation post, I’ve had a number of people ask me about making them! To answer the question above, here’s how I would go about making them:

For this project, you'll need your choice of papers (I chose Champagne metallic paper and plain black cardstock from paperandmore.com ), black lace (I purchased this on sale for $1.48 p/yard at G-Street Fabrics in Virginia), beige "rat tail" cord (on sale for 52c p/yard), black thread, ruler, pins, paper cutter, printer, double sided tape, and a sewing machine.

For the purposes of this post, I didn’t print the invitations, but that is the first thing you should do (after you’ve figured out your design concept).  For this style, you could fit three invitations to a Letter sized page.  I used metallic paper which is only compatible with laser printers (sadly, it smudges with Ink Jet).  You could also experiment with linen paper, which will work with an Ink Jet.  Personally, I prefer to buy my paper online because there is more selection and it’s usually cheaper.  Check out Paper and More, Blue Dot Paper Shop, and Paper Presentation (which also has a store in New York City) for some low cost samples.  So, now let’s pretend that the invitation is printed and move along!

Use a paper trimmer to cut your printed invitations down to size. Also cut the black backing cardstock in a slightly larger size (depending on what size invitations you make, it might be more economical to use a 12x12 sheet). Craft stores have a good range of entry level slicers available ranging between $10 - $60.

Tape the invitation pieces together with a piece of double sided tape in each corner. I've found that of all the various tape/glue dots on the market, 3M double sided tape works out the most economical. Measure the width of the invitation, then double that measurement for the lace, adding 1/2 an inch.

Fold the measured section of lace in half, securing at the end with a pin. I decided NOT to cut the lace yet - I waited until I had sewn the lace together and confirmed that it was the right fit before doing so.

Using matching thread, sew the lace together, 1/4 inch from the edge. I used a patchwork foot for this because it measures exactly 1/4 inch between the needle and the edge of the foot. If you have a walking foot, that would work even better. Secure the ends by reverse stitching about 2 stitches.

Test the lace by slipping it over the invitation to make sure it fits - it should be tight, but not so tight that it's hard for the guests to take it on and off. When it's right, you're ready to cut! (I used a contrasting thread so that you could see what I did here).

Here's what the back of the invitation looks like. I pushed the seam to one side. If you want, you could open the seam up and press it flat with an iron, but for demo purposes, I decided not to ;-)

And here's what the front looks like.

To add some additional interest, I played with wrapping Rat Tail cord (beige) around the invitation. Tying the bow was a bit of a pain because it's pretty slippery. You could also play around with thin beige ribbon - making sure to trim the ends at a 45 degree angle so they don't fray.

So there you have it! The sewing part would get a bit time consuming, but I think it would yield a better result than glue.  You could also play with double-sided iron-on hem tape if you don’t have a sewing machine.  Total cost for the materials in this design works out to be a little over a $1 per invitation (based on getting paper from PaperandMore.com in packs of 100 sheets, giving you leftovers for programs, name cards, direction and RSVP cards).  The price of ribbon and lace varies a lot, depending on what type you get, and printing also varies, depending on whether you are getting them professionally printed or doing them at home.  You’ll also need envelopes! Finally, because of the bulky bow on the front, you may have to pay the higher postage charge (around 65c).

Remember, whenever you have a wedding related question, feel free to send us a message and we’ll try our best to answer it!  And don’t forget about our Haiti cupcake raffle – a $25 donation to World Vision gives you an entry to win a fabulous wedding day treat (and makes you feel good too!)!

Did you have fun at your wedding and feel sad that the fun stops after the wedding is over? Some brides find it hard to turn off the excitement after the big day is over. If you keep looking at wedding dresses after you’ve already picked one, or you’ve already married, then you are as GUILTY as me. :O)

Source: Pink Orchid Weddings

Source: Pink Orchid Weddings

Well, the fun doesn’t have to be over because gals like me, continue the fun by helping other brides. For myself, I feel that if I can help a friend while having fun myself, why not help out? And when other friends saw how much I enjoyed planning my own wedding, they asked me to help with theirs. Some brides see it as a wedding gift since the cost of a day of coordinator is usually several hundred dollars. I only help as much as the bride feels comfortable (some brides need more help than others) when planning the wedding, and for others, I will only coordinate the day of the wedding.

If the opportunities don’t jump into your lap, you could ask friends if they would like some help and keep doing that until you find your niche in wedding planning/coordinating. Also, you could find a friend that is coordinating a wedding and ask if she would like a second hand. Almost always, I’m working with one other person when coordinating a wedding. Because you have first-hand experience with being a bride and with a couple of opportunities helping someone else coordinate, you could eventually coordinate a wedding on your own.

And if you want this hobby to become a career and you’re a George Mason University student, be sure to check out their course in wedding planning! I saw it mentioned in an entrepreneurship magazine and at the time of publication, it was the only course in the nation at an accredited university.

(This is a continuation of an earlier post about wedding coordinators).

Pink Orchid Weddings logopresents

Planners vs. Coordinators, What’s the Difference?

by Emilie

A wedding planner should know all of the great venues and vendors in your city or area. Your planner should be able let you know how to manage your budget, introduce you to fabulous vendors within your price point, and help you find your dream venue. This can be as involved as setting up and scheduling vendor appointments for you, attending meetings with lists of questions ready at hand, ordering rentals such as linens and tents, and reviewing vendor contracts. A planner is usually hired in the first stage of planning so you can get the most out of your investment.

A good planner will save you time and money because instead of researching on your own for hours to see if you can find a certain style of photographer in a particular price range, your planner might know one hidden gem off the bat, and show you their gorgeous photography blog in the time that it takes for you to Google “great photographers”. A planner will also help carry out your wedding day vision, with ideas and suggestions to play up your color theme, or personal style. Planners range in pricing, depending on location, experience, and even your budget, but you can look to spend anywhere between $2,500 and $10,000.

Source:

Source: Erica Lyn Photography

A wedding coordinator on the other hand is usually not as involved in the initial planning. If you have the time to plan a wedding mostly on your own, a wedding coordinator is perfect because all of your little personal details and touches need to be shown to your guests in the exact way that you envisioned it, right? A coordinator will not only set up your place cards, guestbook, and menu cards to your specifications, but will also make sure that everything else falls into place, including the vendors that you hired. A coordinator is there to fix your train as you walk down the aisle, and be the point-of-contact for absolutely everything. For coordinators, expect to see prices ranging from $500 to $3000. Prices vary based on location, number of assistants, and especially what is included in the package. Some coordinators will just expect you to tell them what to set up, while others will really be more involved to help you organize all of the details beforehand.

Why not just ask a friend or someone in your bridal party to be your DOC? Because your loved ones should be able to enjoy your wedding day and celebrate with you, instead of worrying about setting up your place cards, or making sure your cake is the right color. By hiring a wedding coordinator, you will be able to relax and be stress free for your special day.

When interviewing coordinators, definitely ask about the work that they have done, and the exact services that they provide. Not only should they have great reviews from past clients, but I would recommend meeting with the coordinator in-person because you will instantly know if it they are a good fit for you!

About our guest blogger:
Emilie is the owner and principal coordinator of Pink Orchid Weddings, a Boston based company that specializes in wedding day-of coordination. Pink Orchid Weddings guides the way for a couple and answers any questions throughout the planning process. The details are pulled together and the vision turns into reality by creating a minute-by-minute timeline, coordinating vendors, and perfectly executing the wedding day.

How many bridesmaids?

October 30th, 2009

Question?

Reader Question:
How do I figure out how many people should stand with me? I could go with 2 bridesmaids, but I could also go with 10.

Bridesmaids help the bride but mine laughed at me. :O)

My sister (MOH) tries to tame my veil for the pictures at FDR Memorial. Source: Jay Wilson Photography

I don’t know where this etiquette came from, but the bridesmaids ratio is suggested to be 1 bridesmaid for every 50 guests you have. I’m not a stickler for etiquette but it gives you a guideline. Because if you have a wedding of 50 guests, you don’t want to go with 10 bridesmaids. You might as well invite everyone there up with you!

My wedding was 230 guests, but I had only 2 bridesmaids because I kept to close family members: my sister and my cousin. I couldn’t decide among friends and I was too afraid to offend people because if I asked one person, then I felt obligated to ask 3-4 other people who were in the same group of friends. So I made it less complicated and in the end, it worked out because with our short timeline to plan the wedding, it was less to coordinate.

Question?

Reader Question:
How do I throw a bridal shower? Some basic guidelines would be nice. I’m clueless, thanks.

Source: www.1weddingsource.com

Source: www.1weddingsource.com

First off, unless you’re dead set on throwing a surprise shower, consult the bride before making any plans and plan early.  A bridal shower should be thrown approximately 2 months before the wedding and you should give guests around 4 weeks to respond to the invitation.  So work backwards on your timeline and talk to the bride about anything she had in mind about the shower.  Or maybe something small or just a spa trip with the bridesmaids?  Possibly just family and bridesmaids? I have also heard of some bridal showers inviting all of the female guests that are being invited to the wedding.  I would like to say this is up to the planner but ideally this shower should be what the bride wants.  Make sure to ask about any family consideration or traditions.  Most recently my friend discovered that there is a family tradition (on her groom’s side) that the groom attends the shower.   During this conversation make sure to find out where the bride and groom have registered.  Try to ensure they have registered for a wide variety of gifts ranging in price.

Source: www.blisstree.com

Source: www.blisstree.com

After you get the basic thoughts from the bride, get the bridesmaids together and make some decisions.  Who is going to pay for the shower? This can sometimes be split by the bridesmaids or in my case where my sister was my bridesmaid my mother and my sister picked up the tab although this is of course depending on the size of the shower.    Make sure to discuss location and venue as these can be important to determine the exact date.  Holding the shower in someone’s home and having the bridal power bring the food can be low cost option.  Also some places have a low cost brunch/lunch menu so sometimes looking at a caterer or restaurant can still be an option even if you have a tight budget.

Source: www.projectwedding.com

Source: www.projectwedding.com

Once the basics are determined, make a task list of who is bringing what, or doing what, along with a high level schedule of the event.  Also make sure to order favors for each guest.  These can be something that is related to a theme of the bridal shower (if you chose to do so) or something as small as a bag of candy.   Unlike the wedding favors, bridal shower favors can be fun items that only women will be enjoying!

Source: www.ehow.com

Source: www.ehow.com

Like any event bridal showers can be as formal or as relaxed as you decide.   Other nice to haves are place cards, centerpieces, pictures of the bride and groom, music (if desired).  After my bridal shower my friends and I decided to try some karaoke. It definitely made for a great after party!

Tit for Tat Gift-Giving?

September 25th, 2009

Question?

Reader Question:
I’m annoyed at how nowadays wedding “gifts” aren’t really gifts at all and they’re more like buying your ticket to the wedding. Gifts are freely given, or should be, but I feel like in weddings its not like that anymore. You should expect to spend however much you wanna spend and  guests shouldn’t feel compelled to give gifts… they should WANT to. And it shouldn’t be their meal ticket. That is all. K bye.

A gift is “something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.” (Source: Dictionary.com)

Source: Manolo Brides

Source: Manolo Brides

Like a kid at Christmas, I like to expect nice gifts at a wedding, but have the expectations for wedding gifts gone out of control? Maybe guests have taken etiquette (bringing a gift to cover the cost of your attendance) too strictly, or maybe wedding couples are selfishly expecting great gifts from every guest? The bottom line is, the wedding is a celebration of a marriage between two people who love each other very much and the event should be about their new marriage, not what gifts they get. Did guests and wedding couples lose sight of what’s really important?

I believe you are commenting about the post earlier this week when I shared some ideas about what I have done or thought of doing when traveling to attend a wedding. The reader did not want to show up as the close college roommate who didn’t give a wedding gift, so hopefully those ideas will work for her. But you should not feel that any of those gift ideas are required. However, not knowing the wedding couple, who knows how they would react? I would like to think that the wedding couple would be understanding if someone traveled from the other side of the world to attend the wedding and did not give a gift. Attending the wedding should be gift enough. But it’s always safer to bring something in hand and even better when the couple doesn’t know how much you spent on it. :O)

Gift-giving is an expectation that is formed by customs from culture, religion, and family. Everyone does not have the same view so it’s best not to dwell on it. As a gift-giver, I’m not going to get wrapped up in the amount, but focus more on what I think the couple will enjoy. Etiquette is just a guideline and not a hard fast rule. For those of you who are the wedding couple, you won’t get disappointed if you don’t expect something in return, even though etiquette says you should. In the end, the importance should be on your nuptials, not monetary objects.

Long Distance Travel

September 23rd, 2009

Question?

Reader Question:
I was invited to a wedding in Utah and it’s going to cost me several hundred dollars to fly out there, stay in a hotel, and rent a car. Am I really expected to spend about $100 on their gift, too? Oh, on top of that, I’m poor!

That’s a very good question that I’ve heard several times. It doesn’t seem fair to the guest if they are expected to spend so much money just to attend the wedding. I once was invited to a wedding in Iowa that would have costed us $700/pp for just the transportation. After a slight heart attack, I told the couple that we wouldn’t be able to go and bought something off their registry that was several hundred dollars. We figured it was way cheaper than attending the wedding and the couple got an awesome gift. If you’re a really good friend, you probably wanna go in person and witness your friend’s nuptials. So what’s the etiquette?

Source: Inhabitant.com

Source: Inhabitat.com

Well, there has to be etiquette for this but I would ignore it. :O)  You should spend what your comfortable with and it will depend how close the friend is. The closer the friend is, the more you spend but if you’re broke, then you’ve got to think of something. Here are some options:

  • Buy a gift certificate that will cost you less than its face value. Here are some deals that I’ve recently seen:
    • restaurant.com allows you to purchase a $100 gift certificate for $40. Look at their site for a price that you’re comfortable with. This is a good idea for a couple moving to a new area because they can try out a new restaurant for $100 less than what they would normally pay.
    • I bought a $100 bedandbreakfast.com gift card for $80 while shopping at Costco. The couple can use the gift card to put $100 towards any deal on the site. It’s also a nice suggestion to contribute towards a nice weekend getaway in the future.
  • Offer your functional skills towards the wedding event. Here are some ways to volunteer:
    • Create a slide show with photos from the couple and from friends
    • Help setup before or clean-up after the event
    • Transport people from/to airport with your rental car
  • Find other cash-strapped friends and chip in for a bigger gift off the couple’s registry
  • Buy a gift that can be used during the wedding event

Do you have any awesome budget gift-giving ideas?

Tipping Wedding Vendors

September 8th, 2009

Question?

Reader Question:
Our caterer has arranged for other vendors, such that she is almost acting like a wedding planner. However, it means that my catering bill includes lighting, flowers, and the more typical food, labor, linens and equipment.  How do I figure out to how to tip from the catering bill?  I’ve read that normally you don’t have to tip your florist separately, for example.  And the bill is quite large if you factor in linens and equipment. Am I really supposed to use the entire catering bill?  Also, do we need to give the tip to each person individually, or can we give the money to Debbie or the service captain to have them distribute it? Any thoughts you have on this would be greatly appreciated! 

Source: Wedding Reception Centerpieces

Source: Wedding Reception Centerpieces

It’s weird that the catering bill would not include the tip already.  If the caterer is paying the vendor, I would expect them to pass the tip onto your bill so I wouldn’t worry about tipping them. For wait staff, I would tip based off the food and labor and give the tip to the person in charge, and not distribute individually. I would ask Debbie if the bill already includes the tip because sometimes caterers include the tip in the price. You wouldn’t want to double tip. I hope that helps. :O)

This past wedding season I got a lot of questions from guests about etiquette so I wanted to share with everyone:

Question?

Reader Question:
How much do I spend on the wedding gift?

No one should think of this as a hard fast rule, but typically, guests are expected to give gifts that are equal to the cost of attending the wedding. In most metropolitan areas, that’s about $100 per person, less for suburbs. So if there are two of you, that’s $200 for a wedding gift. If you don’t know what to give, give cash. Most couples will not find it impersonal because many couples start their marriage with big holes in their pocket!

Question?

Reader Question:
I’m strapped for cash. What gift ideas do you have for me?

Yes, money is tight these days but it’s the same for the wedding couple. Of course, couples should not expect to be showered with extravagant gifts from everyone. For example, a friend who recently graduated from school and just joined the Peace Corps will not have the same expectations put on them as the I-Banking friend from NYC. Some couples will appreciate receiving a thoughtful gift that costs less than $100 but some may appreciate the cash more. I would gauge the gift depending on the couple. If you’re looking for some gifts that give a little more meaning but don’t cost as much, consider buying a gift that benefits a non-profit cause. Ten Thousand Villages sells crafts from around the world and gives their profit directly to the artist, usually living in a developing country. Shop either Tabletop or Home Decor. If these products were sold in a department store, they would go for much more. If the couple has a philanthropic heart, then donate using the I Do Foundation.

If you know of others that are strapped for cash, consider pooling together resources to get one nice expensive gift from a group of people.

Question?

Reader Question:
What if I don’t attend the wedding? Do I still need to give a gift?

It’s customary to send a gift even if you don’t attend the wedding. The wedding couple invited you with the intent of sharing their special occasion with you.

Question?

Reader Question:
How long do I have to give a gift?

It’s customary to give a gift up to a year after the wedding.

Question?

Reader Question:
What if I have guests that don’t give gifts, even a year after my wedding?

Hahaha. You can’t demand for a wedding gift. Keep in mind, sometimes things get lost in the mail, stores can mess up orders, etc. The fact that they don’t get a thank you card might tip them off. Or, you can still send a thank you card but thank them only for attending the wedding. The fact that you leave out thanking them for a gift might tip them off. If those clues don’t do anything, resist the urge to ask and consider it water under the bridge. There’s a perfect example from King of the Hill of what NOT to do:

King of the Hill - Wedding Gift Collection

King of the Hill - Wedding Gift Collection (Source: Hulu.com)

Etiquette can be seen as a best practice but of course, it’s not the absolute rule. Your decisions should be dealt with on a case-by-case scenario, and to maintain your relationships, leave your judgments at the door. :O)

Questions From the Audience

July 16th, 2009

Question?

Reader Question:
Questions from our audience will look like this

We would like to announce a new feature in our blog! You may notice in the future a cute little icon like the one above.  See it in action with a guest list question. We’ve been answering questions from our audience and wanted a way to show answers to your questions.  Lots of people are like you and wonder the same things, so why not share what’s on your mind, too? If you would like to submit a question, you can use either the “Feedback” button on the middle right of the page, or the “Contact Us” link at the bottom. Ask any questions relating to weddings, relationships, or about our site. We hope to hear from you soon!