BIG FAT CAKE » BLOG » Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Irresponsible Bridesmaids

August 19th, 2010

Question?

Reader Question:
My best friend has been my best friend forever. But she’s really irresponsible and I don’t think she’ll be a good maid of honor. Is it wrong to ask someone else?

Remember that your wedding day is not everything and that relationships with people continue beyond the wedding day. Just remembering that thought may determine what you do and what you say to your friends. :)

Irresponsible Bridesmaid from "Confessions of a Shopoholic." Photo Source: lapetitefashionista.com

Okay, so that being said, before you ask someone else to be your maid of honor, you should talk to your BFF and ask her if she’s willing to be a maid of honor and explain to her the usual responsibilities. She might volunteer herself to be a bridesmaid but also, don’t be offended if she doesn’t want to participate at all. It takes a lot of commitment of someone’s time and money to be a bridesmaid. If you have other bridesmaids that are responsible enough to make up for your maid of honor’s lack of it, then you should be fine. In my opinion, “maid of honor” is just a title.

Keep in mind, not every bride has the whole sha-bang of bridal shower, bachelorette party, engagement party, etc etc. So just because you get a responsible maid of honor, does not mean you’ll “get it all.” I hope this advice helps!

Marry THE One

August 15th, 2010

Question?

Reader Question:
When do you know that you’ve found THE One?

This is a philosophical question. Do you believe that there’s only one person out there for you? Or, can you make marriage work out with anyone? I could debate either side of the argument.

Finding someone you can't live without.....

I’ll try to answer a complex question with a simple answer. A friend once told me,when looking for a life partner….

instead of finding someone you can live with, find someone you can’t live without.

How did you know that you found THE one? Or, how do you think you’ll know?

Photo Source: Wedding Chicks

Show your bridesmaids how much you love and appreciate them by giving them one of these adorable customizable totes!  When I came across this website I couldn’t wait to have my own bridesmaids to shower them with these gifts.  All the totes, t-shirts and cards are customizable to match and coordinate with your colors and are cute ways of letting people know just who’s who in your wedding party!  Check out the rest of the adorable gifts on http://www.weddingchicks.com/shop/

Cutie Recalls Their Wedding

July 24th, 2010

Photo Source: The OGs

So you may recall a previous post about the Original Grandparents (the OGs) and how they’ve been married for 72 years. Pretty cool! So I emailed them to say hi and ask them:

Question?

Reader Question:
What is the most memorable moment of your wedding?

They responded! Here is Cutie’s response:

Dear Christine,
I remember how beautiful everybody was and how happy they were for us. We, in turn, just accepted the good wishes and thanked them all graciously. We hope you have a happy life, a good marraige, and a great future. Thank you for sharing with us.

Cutie

I was so excited that Cutie responded. I’m her biggest fan now. :O)

72 Years of Marriage

July 18th, 2010

Photo Source: CNN.com

CNN featured Harry and Barbara Cooper, a couple who has been married for 72.5 years. That’s crazy long! They’ve gone through many trials and happiness. They currently live together in a nursing home nearby their children. Cutie (the grandma) is so cute. She has written reviews on Yelp and their blog about how she loves Beard Papa, a cream puff place in Little Tokyo (in Los Angeles) . I loved those cream puffs!

Here’s Harry sharing what makes a marriage last, “‘It’s a give-and-take situation….I give, and she takes.”

And I guess they’ve gotten so popular that CNN continues to write/blog about it:

Have you ever seen an elderly couple so cute?

Cute Childhood Wedding

June 27th, 2010

I came across this dad’s story about how his little girl and her boyfriend loved each other so much. Your heart will melt when you read about the little boy making invitations to their wedding. So cute!!  I don’t know which is cuter….the love story between the two kids, or the way the dad adores his little girl. In either case, it’s a good read.

Scott and I were college sweethearts, but part of me feels like we were little kids because it felt like puppy love. And on our wedding day, I remember that I felt like little kids dressing up to make-believe a wedding. Maybe it’s just that simple….boy meets girl, girl likes boy back. Adults tend to make things more complicated. :O)

Can you identify with little kid crushes? Know anyone who married their young crush?

Am I Too Poor to be a MOH?

April 4th, 2010

Question?

Reader Question:
Is it okay to say to tell my friend that I am too poor to be a MOH?  Is it weird to downgrade myself to just a regular bridesmaid?

You are very keen to realize that being maid-of-honor (MOH) eats up a lot of your money. From the bachelorette party, bridal shower, dress, hair, makeup, etc., things add up very quickly. However, being rich should not be one of the factors a bride has to ask someone to be their MOH. I can’t confirm this when searching online, but I once read on theknot.com that a MOH can spend $1,000 or more for an average wedding. Wow!

Source: Life123

Having coordinated many weddings, I’ve seen MOHs who were so financially-involved with the wedding planning, that they looked like they were bank-rolling the whole operation, while other MOHs didn’t contribute much and only competed with the bride for attention. All other MOHs fall somewhere in between those two extremes.

If you were asked to be a MOH, chances are, your bride-friend thinks of you as a great friend. It’s okay to decline if you think any upcoming life events might prevent you from performing MOH-duties. For instance, if you’re studying for the bar exam, or an ill family member needs your attention, then you might not have much time to plan a bridal shower. Personally, I don’t think money should prevent you from being a MOH. If you are financially-challenged, have an honest conversation with your bride-friend and tell her your limitations. You will need to plan ahead and be creative if you’re on a low budget. Think of the other bridesmaids as part of your creative team to think of low-budget activities you could do and other ways to support your bride-friend without blowing everyone’s budget.

I’m not sure that “downgrading” to a regular bridesmaid will be any better. If anything, being a MOH will give you more say about how much you will spend.

To our readers, do you have any low-budget bridal shower or bachelorette ideas you could share for a financially-challenged wedding party?

Maid-of-Honor 101

March 20th, 2010

Question?

Reader Question:
I know it’s not your main audience, but how about a post about bridesmaid, MOH duties and suggestions. This way you’ll have resources for bridesmaids who can come on the site, gather advice, and find other interesting things to send blog links to their bride-bosses.

You were asked to be maid-of-honor (MOH) and feel privileged that you were given this distinction. Now what? It sounds great at first until you try to figure out what’s expected of you. Every MOH is different and a lot will depend on the needs and personality of both the bride and MOH. To simplify the expectations, I present the MOH by the expected role, duties, and knowledge.

Expected Role

A bride has many needs when planning her wedding and will depend on close family and friends to help. A MOH is no different and will be expected to be helpful. Throughout the whole process, she may provide emotional support for bride, lead the other bridesmaids to carry out tasks, and help the bride to make decisions during wedding planning. On the wedding day, she may tend to the physiological needs of the bride (nibbles of food during reception so she doesn’t pass out, holding her dress so she can pee, etc.)

Expected Duties

  • fix the veil and train during the ceremony and during transportation
  • hold the bridal bouquet during the ring exchange
  • hold the groom’s ring (if the best man is not holding both rings)
  • bustle the train for the reception
  • toast at the reception (only if the brides asks and usually after the best man’s speech)
  • organize a bachelorette party or bridal shower with the help of other bridesmaids

Expected Knowledge

  • wedding registries – guests may ask you where the couple is registered and what the preferred gifts are. For instance, even though the wedding couple has a registry, they may appreciate cash gifts more.
  • Bride’s bra and panty size – friends who want to give gifts at the bachelorette party may ask you for bra & panty size.

In the end, all that you need to do, is be a great friend or sister. You won’t be graded for your performance so just do the best you can and try to enjoy yourself and have a great time!

Will You Be My Bridesmaid?

January 22nd, 2010

Have you thought about how you’re going to pop the question? Some brides will ask over lunch or dinner, while others will ask through a card. Your bridesmaids will be supporting you through the whole wedding planning process and will be spending lots of time and money to make your wedding happen. So what if you want to do something special? After finding that greeting cards were impersonal, a friend had a cute idea of personalizing her requests through DIY cards and boutique cupcakes from Cupcakes Actually. Everybody loves cupcakes!

Here's a cute way to ask your bridesmaids through personal notes and cupcakes

With the help of experts at Paper Source, these are the materials she started with.

She glued white paper to the cardstock, added sticker, and tied a bow. Picture is blurred to protect identities. :O)

The envelopes had a print inside that matched the outside label.

I can’t believe that this day only a year ago I was in a big white dress and walking down the aisle! It’s so amazing how time really flies – I still remember that day so well!

This year has been fabulous – we’ve loved being married!  We didn’t live together before our wedding day, so being married has made our relationship stronger (since we’re around each other all the time and don’t need to say “goodbye” at the end of the night), and it’s also been great getting to carpool all the time :-) .

For our first anniversary, I decided that we should go the traditional route and give each other gifts made from paper.  We capped the limit at $5 initially, but then hubby decided that he couldn’t find anything for $5, so the limit was upped to $10.  I had great ideas – I thought about getting a wedding photo blown up, or writing a nice letter, or making a nice card and writing in it.  But then I got lazy and was feeling un-crafty (though I did suggest to my husband that he show his love for me by making 1,000 paper cranes… he didn’t buy it though :-P ).

Other “paper” anniversary gifts ideas included magazine subscriptions (no, my husband did not need another subscription to Car and Driver), movie/theater tickets (limited options with $10), a $10 bill (kind of lame), a $10 gift card (also somewhat lame, and rarely made from paper these days), or a book (such as a marriage book we could read together, since my husband doesn’t read).

So, what creative, unique, romantic anniversary gift have I got for my husband?

The Dilbert 2010 desk calendar!  What can I say – my man is an engineer :-) .

Most of our readers are probably *not* married yet, but for those that are, what are (or did) you do for your first anniversary?